Doctor! Doctor!

‘Gosh, Pain in the abdomen is increasing, that’s really serious.’ Isaid it sadly.

After gaining all the courage and valour I went to see a doctor, Dr. Bandhu.

‘Knock Knock!! Is the doc there?’ I asked to the nurse there who was in the early 40’s.

‘No. Didn’t you read the timings outside? She replied with a raised eyebrow.

‘Oh sorry! I said it, embarrassingly.

‘Anyway, what happened to you, you look absolutely fine? She asked.

‘I’ve a severe pain in the abdomen, I guess I have developed appendix.’ I replied with lowered eyes.

‘Appendix, at this age? She asked

‘I nodded. Does appendix have any particular age to develop? I quizzed...

‘I have no clue.’ She replied in her heavy madrasi accent.

‘Ok register yourself, once the doc is here, I will call you. She informed.

‘Name? She asked...

‘Desh Vijay Sharma. I replied.

She laughed as If I have said Vijay Dinanath Chauhan.

‘What’s yours? I quizzed

‘Lakshmi Onam Ottipuranaswamy. She said excitedly

I would be the first person apart from her husband who asked her name.

‘LOO would be the perfect acronym. I chuckled.

‘What? She asked angrily.

‘Nothing. Just a thought. I replied.

‘What thought?? She asked.

It felt as If now she along with the other nurses would tear me apart.

‘Nothing really. Is that water drinkable? I questioned.

‘Nah. She lied.

Meanwhile I browsed the magazines there. Which resembled quite the ones which lies undercover at the bus stands; flashed a south Indian lady showing her heavy cleavage and thunder thieghs at the cover page.

‘I sprang up from my seat.

For the next ten minutes I kept on thinking is the doc a Sexologist or a general Physician.

‘Since how long you are here, lakshmi aunty? I tried to break the ice.

‘Past 2 hours. She chuckled.

‘You must be kidding me. I replied.

‘I came back from Dubai in 2006. It has been 3 hears (Years) I’m with Dr. Bandhu.
She said while she laid heavy emphasis on Dubai.

‘Dubai is a great place. You must be aware of all the nooks and corner of that city. I questioned.

‘Yes. Yes. Yvery Yvery (Every Every). She answered back in pompous tone.
Oh great! Why did you come back then? I quizzed.

(Till now she was on cloud nine that someone was asking about her dubai’sh thing)
‘My husband lost his job. She reacted sadly.

In between all the talks doctor arrived in a hurry.
With his trouser tucked way above his belly button. His blazer appeared as if he wore the same on the graduating ceremony of MBBS. In short he resembled Viru Sehastrabuddhi aka Virus of 3 idiots.

‘What happened boy.’ He asked while he was busy tagging his green cloth on his face.
‘I’m not a swine FLU patient. I muttered.

What’s your name? The doc asked.

Desh Vijay Sharma. I said.

He saw me while he llifted his reading glasses as If he had his lost brother of the same name.

‘Interesting Name, Mr. Sharma. He smiled.

‘Yes, even my Grandfather felt the same. I replied.

I have a severe pain in the abdomen. I interrupted him in his talks.
Oh! Pain in the abdomen. He smirked...

‘Was there something to smirk.’ I asked to myself.

Do you take alcohol? He questioned.

No Sir, I don’t. I replied honestly

He looked towards me with his big green eyes as if he is the interrogator and I’m a terrorist.

‘Are you serious, you don’t take alcohol? He insisted

‘Do I look like a drunkard by face? I questioned.

‘No. No. No. Guys of your age prefer taking it. He smiled and stated.

‘Do you have a girlfriend? He asked with a lowered neck and his reading glasses on the tip of his nose.

The moment he asked me about girl friend a flash of the book with a south Indian lady with a heavy cleavage and thunder thighs came.

‘Excuse me. I said

‘Do you have a girlfriend, I asked.’ He repeated in his husky voice.

‘No. I don’t have. I confidently replied..

He again smirked, As if he was confident that I was lying.

‘Get one, then. He replied in more of an elderly brother’s tone.

‘But sir, my parents are looking a suitable bride for me. I’m not eligible for having a gal friend now; I guess I’m too old for it. I replied while I was busy fondling his paper weight.

By now our conversation turned quite frank and friendly.

‘Pain sir, in the abdomen, Pain. I regained the focus of the doc.

Took a good half n hour for ultrasound and all formalities.

‘Nothing is there, Desh. Stop worrying. He sounded like a school teacher.

‘Just that your lower abdomen nerves are a bit week and are contracted. He said.

Oh, Thank you doc thank you. I said while shaking hands.

Reminds me of the scene from the hindi movies where a man hand shakes the doc who delivered a baby boy for him..

‘Ok doctor see you. I said like a regular slang.

‘Never see me. He again sounded like an elder bro.

‘What’s the bill amount? I asked to the receptionist.

‘What’s your good name, sir? A beautiful girl in her early 30’s asked..

‘Vijay Dinanath Chauhan. I smirked n winked at her.

What??? She looked as if she felt offended.

She looked like one of the actresses who come in daily soaps and say “ Kya Kya Kya”

Desh Vijay Sharma. I replied with the straight face.

‘Hmmm... INR 1200 pls. She said.

While I was coming out of the clinic happily, I thought the gestures and jokes of the doctor (though sounded absurd) was the perfect way to relax me.

‘He is a good doctor. I smiled.

‘But the quality of the magazines at the clinic must improve. I laughed..